It's Yeux, the fortunate

 I was staying in a shared room for my work at Bengaluru. There is a cleaning lady who initiates a short conversations often. It can't go longer as we speak different language.  Initially she asks me for the sweet I had while she comes for cleaning, and then it just started as a demand. I felt uncomfortable. She even confronted that there is a chocolate wrapper in the dustbin when I told her I don't have chocolates. eww! Also forced me to reveal my monthly compensation. naive me did reveal😓 ============== I never realised I just started writing this and never completed or posted. Let me complete it briefly. ============== I told my mom, she saw me like I'm a baby. So, then I started putting on my headset and acted as I'm busy working even if I'm not. It felt rude but she deserved it.

 When I started writing this blog, I told I'm very afraid making a conversation with people. In 2025, I traveled to Bangalore, Hyderabad, Pune, Mumbai and Kumily, shook hands with wonderful people.  I thought if I made into US then VC would be extremely happy that he made it but it didn't happen. But at Kumily, while we are in a trip(my 1st ever trip with friends) someone walked towards me and told he knew me from SQ1, one of the hackathons where I won 3rd prize. And this happened right when VC is standing next to me. I hope he would've been happy. Also I wished to be a friend of VC. During the trip, in the video call his wife addressed us as his friends😁. Vetri vetri! And now sitting in Nest PG hostel terrace reimaging what happened in the morning. I walked into a store to buy cloth clips and lifebuoy handwash. Had Rs.200 in cash. The total was 209🥲. I handed him the 200, he asked for 9.  (I know he understands tamil)  Me: 200 than iruku, 200 ku tharuvingala... Hi...

 Look at the picture attached. I feel like this is how I look, wheat colour, small face, short torso, big thighs, draped in pink(not in saree all the time), and admires Krishna in dreams in every possible means. So today, I was listening to a beautiful song written by our lovely Sri Andal, and the current rhythm is composed by Isaigyani Ilayaraja. The song is titled Vaaranam Aayiram. But the stanza I fell for is in the song, but actually is not under Varanam Aayiram. It comes under 'Nachiyar Thirumozhi'. Though both the poets are the same, the music composer must have woven them together.  The lines: கருப்பூரம் நாறுமோ கமலப்பூ நாறுமோ, திருப்பவளச் செவ்வாய்தான் தித்தித்தி ருக்குமோ, மருப்பொசித்த மாதவன்றன் வாய்ச்சுவையும் நாற்றமும், விருப்புற்றுக் கேட்கின்றேன் சொல்லாழி வெண்சங்கே!  This is an immense love poem. Andal asks the conch, Panjachanyam, how her lover, Krishna's mouth, smells and tastes. She asks whether it smells like camphor essence or a lotus flower, and does it tast...

 It's a day I never wanted and a day I will never regret. Started with a sleepless night, bad bus/bad road. My eyes are dropping while writing this🥱 but its only 19:39 and a rat running. NO YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING!!! TYPE😭. Back to morning, got down the bus with my half dried jasmine ummm still smells goood, clued about how the day is going to be. Kind town bus driver dropped me in the intermediate stop that is close to my hostel gate. Snooped into the hostel without signing the register. Mess staff said if its only one day then no pay. Escape! Else then my visit to hostel would be marked in the mess register. Is it so serious? Yes, because I again snooped out of the hostel without the care taker's knowledge and of course no register sign. Because coming out requires a post card from my parents. This rule is to stop us from running away with our love interest. But my action had no much difference because I packed my bag with extra clothes, extra money and basic stuff going to...

 Here I Am! This is a song from the Barbie movie "The Princess and the Popstar". At the age when I was watching this movie maybe I was in grade 6 in a private school. Though affording the tuition fee isn't easy peasy, my dad did his best to make sure I went there. I can pay the fees, get accessories for the assignment the wholesome required things for being in that school. But I don't dress as fancy as others, my childhood friend thought I looked bad and she moved away, I felt miserable. This doesn't last for long(I thought), my maths mam caught my attention, she was once appreciating my classmates for their good grades. Since I was in first bench(for my height of course) I saw the scene close and wanted it.  It's grade 7, we had a malayali as our English teacher. He is sweet and strict, treats us like his daughter-who was same as our age, lives in Kerala. Since when he was teaching grammar class was neither scary nor boring. We had the same maths teacher now ...

Wow, it works.... Writing down a thing to achieve is much stronger than having it in mind. Here I'm back more contented because I can control my daydreaming. It's much better than before.  Had my first ever journey to Bangalore with my mom, few weeks before. Now what happened today is, I'm reluctant. Towards what? One, appreciating people and next, automatic reciprocity.  Let me start with the second one, I recently met my classmate after semester holidays, and she asked "How are you?", I said "I'm doing well...", then went on asking something and when I stepped out of the room I realised I didn't ask her back about how she's doing. I didn't remember to reciprocate because I wonder what does that answer has to do? I know it's going to be "Fine"!!! because I answered the same even though I was pissed off. But then I feel bad because the last night I was talking to my mentor/teacher/employer/alumni/(I wish to be his friend),.....